Update on Cooking

I previously posted about not being able to cook after dark, not even when it gets dark at 5pm. I don't think that went as he had planned. I don't know how he expected me to accomplish that, but then that is what he is doing, giving me impossible to reach chores, commands, etc, then goes off in a rage when I can't meet his demands.

Over about a week and a half, we ended up getting to eat one hot meal. All the rest were really cold left overs, or stuff out of a can, like ravioli. I had even begged one day to cook some hamburger patties. We had the meat thawed out, the fire was already going, but he just said, "Oh, well. Sorry, can't help ya." But after about a week and a half of cold meals, he came out one day and threw a big, screaming, raging fit because he was sick of cold meals! He screamed that if a fire was already burning (I had been cooking dog food on it), I needed to cook us something, too. He said that it  had to be something quick cook, but he needed something hot to eat! We have since gotten a few hot meals. Not every day, but a few.

He knows how much I like to cook, how much I am missing having a kitchen, and he is now zoning in on the cooking aspect to control me, to manipulate me, to break me down. One day he says one thing, the next day he says another and I am supposed to figure out that he changed his mind. It is all part of a controllers way to keep you upset, broken down, and ready to install their ways into your mind. They are miserable people and they want you to be miserable with them.

His manipulations and controlling ways have now centered heavily around cooking and food. I will try to write and/or talk about that as much as I can in the coming week. None of it makes sense, of course, other than to break down, confuse and control. I have also had to start hiding some foods because he keeps eating up my favorite things and I have no way to get to a store to purchase any more of anything. He now makes all the grocery buying choices. I can ask for something, but he has to approve it. Ugh! Not exactly my idea of a good way to lose weight. We do still have food, but variety is beginning to dwindle and some basic staples are running low. Time will tell.

Thanks for listening to my vent. Have a Happy & Blessed New Year!

Signed - Betty Sue