Friday, December 16, 2016

That Flicker of Light is Gone Again

Yesterday morning, there was a flicker of light again. His old self returned for a few hours. But by last night, T L Ogre was back with a vengeance! This morning was even worse! I just don't know hoe I am going to take this until I can figure a way out of here! My poor old heart (literally) can't take it.

He caught me feeding some of that outdoor cats this morning and that set him off in a rage. Some of those cats were indoor cats and one of them just suspiciously lost a still born litter and she is old. She needs to be fixed!

The name calling is greatly increasing. He is especially making fun of my heritage. He has been calling me Polish Stubborn, over and over. He says I am so stubborn because I am Polish and bashes me being Polish in other ways, too. "Stubborn" translates to, "You won't let me control you!"

This morning he screamed at me that I was STUPID because I am Polish. He just kept saying that I am STUPID because I am Polish and that everyone Polish is STUPID!!!

A few days ago, and I am not even sure where it came from, he was in one of his violent, raging tirades and started SCREAMING at me, "You don't have ANY friends! No one is your friend! You don't have ANY friends around here, and you don't have ANY friends online. None of them are really your friend. NO ONE likes you! They all just PRETEND to be your friend! You have NO ONE!

Then it went on further to tell me that he DID have friends but he hasn't gotten to spend time with them since we got together, that it is my fault for that.

I have to get off of here for now. My bashed hand is killing me and I have a long, hard chore day ahead of me. We are supposed to have a super hard freeze the next few days. Single digits at night, low 20s by day (F), and many, many critters are not prepared for it. No hay and I need my hand to rake leaves, gather bricks to heat, and fire wood. Plus, yet  more puppies are being born right now. They need to be fixed!

 Come on..... just beam me and my critter babies up, Scottie, up and over to a piece of land and a home of our own!

Signed - Betty Sue


  1. Replies
    1. Keep the prayers coming, be patient with me (this is sooo hard) and be understanding that I am going to check out multiple options before I make a decision. Most of all right now .... ENJOY your Christmas! Don't worry. I will be okay and I will, in the end, make this a positive, somehow, for me and for at least a few other women in my similar situation. You are fantastic!

  2. After much research, talk, prayer and asking around, here is the option we have come to - when you are ready, we will come get you during a weekday. You will need to bring your essential identification type papers and medication with you. We will take you to a women's housing here in the town we live (I know the lady who runs it and has agreed to accept you in) that will give you with a place to live, help with job placement and transportation until you have saved up enough to purchase your own. They have an animal rescue there as well that you can bring one of your dogs to (as long as they like people). We will meet someone from the humane society to take the rest to adopt out so the are not left for tl. We will help you get set up with new clothes, make up, hair cut, toiletries, etc. We will pick you up on Sundays to attend church with you as well as have a meal at one of our houses every week to see you and build a relationship with the kids. I know that this is a lot to sacrifice, and you will have to spend less time on crafts in order to spend time working and making a paycheck, but you will be gaining a new, and possibly better, life for yourself. Please know that you are loved and there are a lot of people planning and praying for your decision. When we come, we will also bring police presence in case tl happens to not go to work that day.
    Sincerely, Mimi and brother

    1. Wow! You all are WONDERFUL! You warm my heart! I know this took a lot of work and time out of your holiday celebrating. I can't tell you how much I appreciate it, but I do want all to enjoy their holiday. I will enjoy mine in a very different way this year. I will be gaining knowledge and appreciation for the homeless and other battered/abused women that I plan to use to enable me to better help them in the future.
      I am so glad to know that I do have this option. It will; however, be a final resort. One I would probably take in an absolute emergency. I do, though, also have to keep in mind, that I need to stay within, preferably, an hours driving distance from my mom whom I need to check on and help out at least once a week. She is doing pretty well on her own, but does have some needs and vision is having issues. It could be awhile or it could go at any second. She is also needing someone to take her to Dr.s appointments often and all of her friends that were helping have now either passed away or are no longer able to drive that much either. She is nearly 90, now, and it would absolutely break her heart, possibly weaken her health, if I didn't stay close. I just can't live in that county again.
      I LOVE you all, too! And I would LOVE to live closer, but I am torn between that and my own mom. It feels so good to know I am loved and cared about. You have no idea how good, but I will post that, soon, too.

  3. If you want us to take you to a women's facility closer to home, that is definitely an option! Just let us know

  4. I hope you got away from that monster. Never go back! My mother made this mistake three times. It ended badly for her years later.

    1. Zippi, I am so sorry to hear about your mom! I hope she is okay right now. Were all three times with the same person, or with three different people? I have made this mistake before, also, but I think this one is the worst and I don't plan to ever do it again. Course, you never do plan this.
      No, I am not away, yet, but we are living on separate areas of the property and I am at the point of making an offer on a piece of land. So I am making progress. It will be a very difficult and labor intensive move. Right now, we are attempting to civilly divide up our joint purchased/acquired belongings.
      Thank you, again.
      Thank you so much for your support and your insight.


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