January 16, 2017
I am having a hard time restraining from laughing at T L Ogre in the late evenings, right now. If it weren't so darned funny, it would be infuriating, but laughing is less stressful, for me anyway.
What is so stinking funny you want to know? Night, after night, after night, he has been cooking well after dark for the past week! Tonight it was getting really late when he finished cooking his dinner, which held up feeding two of the dogs, which held up my dinner.
So, why was he so extra late cooking his dinner tonight? He couldn't find the lid to the pot he was using to cook in! I had just walked into the kitchen of the old house to wash my little cooking pot and curiously saw him frantically searching through the "pile." He stopped, looked up and asked, "Have you seen the lid yet to that stainless steel pot?" Of course I had to ask which stainless steel pot because we have a lot of stainless steel pots. He sarcastically, and accusingly, clarified that it was the same pot that he couldn't find the lid to the other day. He absolutely insists that I must know where that lid is and I am just not telling him. Geez!! That was his cooking pot from before we got together, I have never used it. I have seen it sitting on the floor at the base of "the pile" (a mountain of kitchen stuff, trash, and rodent nests in the center of his old kitchen that he works from) but I had never used it. He threw a pretty good fit over not finding the lid to the pot, repeatedly insinuating that I must be hiding it, then bitterly and angrily finished up with, "Well, if I don't have it, it will take a whole lot longer for this to cook! (I don't know what 'this' was.)
I tried to find a substitute lid, but he said none of them fit. I have a multi-size lid, setting out in plain site, but that wouldn't do, either. Yes, it would have. I haven't found a pot, yet, that it didn't work on.
"T L Ogre, why weren't you prepared? Why didn't you plan ahead better? Why didn't you have everything you needed all laid out and ready ahead of time? It's dark now, mister! You're going to be cooking past your bedtime! You might have to cut your nightly, long, hot bath a little short so you don't lose sleep. Come on, now, can't you get your dinner done on time?!"
That's what I wanted to say to him, a throw of his own words back at him. I didn't dare, though. He would have instantly tossed me out in the road. He had already threatened to once, today, because, once again, I didn't answer his question exactly right, exactly the way he wanted it answered. Bullying, he gets such a power trip off of it!
Thanks for stopping in. Have a good day.
Signed - Betty Sue
Showing posts with label campfire cooking. Show all posts
Showing posts with label campfire cooking. Show all posts
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Sunday, January 1, 2017
Update on Cooking
I previously posted about not being able to cook after dark, not even when it gets dark at 5pm. I don't think that went as he had planned. I don't know how he expected me to accomplish that, but then that is what he is doing, giving me impossible to reach chores, commands, etc, then goes off in a rage when I can't meet his demands.
Over about a week and a half, we ended up getting to eat one hot meal. All the rest were really cold left overs, or stuff out of a can, like ravioli. I had even begged one day to cook some hamburger patties. We had the meat thawed out, the fire was already going, but he just said, "Oh, well. Sorry, can't help ya." But after about a week and a half of cold meals, he came out one day and threw a big, screaming, raging fit because he was sick of cold meals! He screamed that if a fire was already burning (I had been cooking dog food on it), I needed to cook us something, too. He said that it had to be something quick cook, but he needed something hot to eat! We have since gotten a few hot meals. Not every day, but a few.
He knows how much I like to cook, how much I am missing having a kitchen, and he is now zoning in on the cooking aspect to control me, to manipulate me, to break me down. One day he says one thing, the next day he says another and I am supposed to figure out that he changed his mind. It is all part of a controllers way to keep you upset, broken down, and ready to install their ways into your mind. They are miserable people and they want you to be miserable with them.
His manipulations and controlling ways have now centered heavily around cooking and food. I will try to write and/or talk about that as much as I can in the coming week. None of it makes sense, of course, other than to break down, confuse and control. I have also had to start hiding some foods because he keeps eating up my favorite things and I have no way to get to a store to purchase any more of anything. He now makes all the grocery buying choices. I can ask for something, but he has to approve it. Ugh! Not exactly my idea of a good way to lose weight. We do still have food, but variety is beginning to dwindle and some basic staples are running low. Time will tell.
Thanks for listening to my vent. Have a Happy & Blessed New Year!
Signed - Betty Sue
Over about a week and a half, we ended up getting to eat one hot meal. All the rest were really cold left overs, or stuff out of a can, like ravioli. I had even begged one day to cook some hamburger patties. We had the meat thawed out, the fire was already going, but he just said, "Oh, well. Sorry, can't help ya." But after about a week and a half of cold meals, he came out one day and threw a big, screaming, raging fit because he was sick of cold meals! He screamed that if a fire was already burning (I had been cooking dog food on it), I needed to cook us something, too. He said that it had to be something quick cook, but he needed something hot to eat! We have since gotten a few hot meals. Not every day, but a few.
He knows how much I like to cook, how much I am missing having a kitchen, and he is now zoning in on the cooking aspect to control me, to manipulate me, to break me down. One day he says one thing, the next day he says another and I am supposed to figure out that he changed his mind. It is all part of a controllers way to keep you upset, broken down, and ready to install their ways into your mind. They are miserable people and they want you to be miserable with them.
His manipulations and controlling ways have now centered heavily around cooking and food. I will try to write and/or talk about that as much as I can in the coming week. None of it makes sense, of course, other than to break down, confuse and control. I have also had to start hiding some foods because he keeps eating up my favorite things and I have no way to get to a store to purchase any more of anything. He now makes all the grocery buying choices. I can ask for something, but he has to approve it. Ugh! Not exactly my idea of a good way to lose weight. We do still have food, but variety is beginning to dwindle and some basic staples are running low. Time will tell.
Thanks for listening to my vent. Have a Happy & Blessed New Year!
Signed - Betty Sue
Saturday, December 31, 2016
Fire Wood
As I said in the last post, T L Ogre was heading up in the woods, today, to cut firewood. For us? NO! His handicapped sister was almost out of wood again. This will be the third time this season that he has cut firewood for her. One time he cut up wood off of her property. The first time and this time, he is cutting up our wood to take to her. My elderly mom has been wanting a rick of wood to keep on hand for a possible power outage so she could still cook (she is total electric). She has been wanting this for nearly two years, but he has yet to cut her any. It could have even been a Christmas gift for her, but isn't happening. She does so much for us, but nope, no wood for her, just his sister on the next property over.
The first time he cut wood for his sister, I was out of cook wood. He did NOT bring me any good wood back. He did finally go gather up some cruddy fallen limbs for me to use, but not any good, quality wood. Today, I am out of cook wood again. I have a few small pieces, but not nearly enough to build a fire to cook anything on. I also need a fire to melt wax so I can get some candles made for light in the tent at night.
In a couple more days, we are supposed to have a really bad stretch of weather ... snow, extreme cold, possibly freezing rain. There isn't much time to gather up any cook wood nor make candles. We will see if he brings me back any wood, too. I really hope so.
Thanks for listening to my vent. I hope that you have a great night and your year ends well and the new one begins beautifully!
Signed - Betty Sue
The first time he cut wood for his sister, I was out of cook wood. He did NOT bring me any good wood back. He did finally go gather up some cruddy fallen limbs for me to use, but not any good, quality wood. Today, I am out of cook wood again. I have a few small pieces, but not nearly enough to build a fire to cook anything on. I also need a fire to melt wax so I can get some candles made for light in the tent at night.
In a couple more days, we are supposed to have a really bad stretch of weather ... snow, extreme cold, possibly freezing rain. There isn't much time to gather up any cook wood nor make candles. We will see if he brings me back any wood, too. I really hope so.
Thanks for listening to my vent. I hope that you have a great night and your year ends well and the new one begins beautifully!
Signed - Betty Sue
Sick Again and a Gun
I got sick as I started to go to bed last night (actually, about 3am). This is my second bug (virus) in a week. My resistance seems to be unbelievably low right now. I am not getting to go anywhere, yet I am still catching everything. One my way out to the tent last night, I started getting really dizzy and queasy. I got things in order around the tent, the dogs settled in for the night, and started to go to bed myself. The dizziness grew until I was about to pass out and the queasiness was horrible.
I finally made it into the bed and tried to lay down. Every time I tried to lay down, I got so dizzy I felt myself passing out and sat up quickly. How I kept from vomiting, I have no idea. The urge was ultra strong. I sat totally still, bundled up in blankets and snuggled up to my hot water bottle. I kind of made another little tent over me with blankets and the hot water bottle in the center.
Finally, little by little, I was able to lay down and rest a little. I snoozed off and on through the night, so I am very tired today. I am still queasy, only slightly dizzy, more congested than usual, and chilling like I am running a fever. Pretty positive I am running a fever.
T L Ogre came in the tent after he got his chores done, around 9:30. (I have no idea how long he had been up), but I thought I had heard him go into the old house to use the computer about an hour after I headed for bed.) He had a big frown on his face because I was still in bed. I struggled to get up and told him that I had been really sick all night. He said in a gruff voice of a stranger that didn't know you, "I'm sorry to hear that." then "Are you ready to feed the dogs? I need to get up in the woods this morning." Not an ... are you okay? or .... What was wrong? Just an "Oh, well" attitude.
We got the dogs fed and he was cross and snappy the whole time, not as bad as usual of late, but still cross and snappy at every little thing. After we got the dogs fed, T L Ogre came back to the tent and just stood in front of the tent for several minutes with an hateful, pondering look on his face. Finally, he lifted his head up and said that he was going to get his gun (pistol) out of the tent and take it on in the house. And then, the verbal beating and story concocting began......
Everything he said started with, You, You, You, You, You.... You are always to blame. "For some reason you don't like that gun in there. For some reason you are uncomfortable with that gun in there and I have no idea why. He then went on to hatefully argue all the good reasons why we needed a loaded gun close by when we sleep. Hateful and guns do not go together in my book. Biggest reason I was uncomfortable with it in there, he has grown more and more full of hate since the gun was put in there, and he often acts quickly before he thinks. So YES, I was uncomfortable with that big, loaded pistol in there.
He went on and on and on criticizing me for being nervous about having a loaded gun in the tent. Then ... he compared guns to the dogs!!! Like a little child he whined, "You have all of these dogs in here. (I had those dogs when I moved, and the yard they are in was built for them) Dogs are just like a loaded gun, only you can't control when their trigger might go off. Dogs go off and "shoot" whenever they want, you can't control that. At any moment, just because they want to, a dog can pull his own trigger. They stay loaded all the time. And you might not be able to stop them. A dog is MUCH more dangerous than a gun!
For crying out loud! The man that is obsessed with guns, knives and other types of weapons, is whining that he is scared of dogs! Not just my dogs, all dogs! He can't get that if you are nice to a dog, if you never provoke a dog, it isn't going to "shoot" you. It will be loyal to you. But this isn't what this is all really about.
What actually is happening (in my opinion) is that he is creating his scenario, his 'story' if you will. He knows that I don't want to be here anymore, he knows that I am trying to find a way to leave, and he may be building up to kick me out (I strongly suspect that will happen any day, now). Before any of that happens, he needs to have a "story" ready to tell people, a story that will make me look like the monster. I have noticed that for about the past week he has been working on concocting this story. He can't possibly look bad. He has to create something that will make me look bad and him the victim. I see now that he has done this with his past wives. The "story" he told about each one of them that left always left me with questions. The stories didn't quite make sense. They now make sense, and I can clearly see that they, too, were the victims. They nearly all left in anger and extreme spite. I can now read in between the lines of every story that he told about every one of them. Now I see that all these senseless things that he is saying to me, about me, my critters, my belongings, all the untrue and ridiculous things he has said to berate me and confuse me, are to create that "story" he will tell when I leave, the one where he is once again the victim, where he just keeps picking women that turn out to be all alike, a man user that is crazy and he has no idea why they went nuts and left with so much spite. He is running scared now, scared that he will look bad to his family and handful of friends because another one left, because he can't hold a relationship. He wants to make sure he makes me out to be the villain and destroys me if I leave, destroys me FOR leaving. That is how I see it. It makes all the senseless make sense.
Signed - Betty Sue
I finally made it into the bed and tried to lay down. Every time I tried to lay down, I got so dizzy I felt myself passing out and sat up quickly. How I kept from vomiting, I have no idea. The urge was ultra strong. I sat totally still, bundled up in blankets and snuggled up to my hot water bottle. I kind of made another little tent over me with blankets and the hot water bottle in the center.
Finally, little by little, I was able to lay down and rest a little. I snoozed off and on through the night, so I am very tired today. I am still queasy, only slightly dizzy, more congested than usual, and chilling like I am running a fever. Pretty positive I am running a fever.
T L Ogre came in the tent after he got his chores done, around 9:30. (I have no idea how long he had been up), but I thought I had heard him go into the old house to use the computer about an hour after I headed for bed.) He had a big frown on his face because I was still in bed. I struggled to get up and told him that I had been really sick all night. He said in a gruff voice of a stranger that didn't know you, "I'm sorry to hear that." then "Are you ready to feed the dogs? I need to get up in the woods this morning." Not an ... are you okay? or .... What was wrong? Just an "Oh, well" attitude.
We got the dogs fed and he was cross and snappy the whole time, not as bad as usual of late, but still cross and snappy at every little thing. After we got the dogs fed, T L Ogre came back to the tent and just stood in front of the tent for several minutes with an hateful, pondering look on his face. Finally, he lifted his head up and said that he was going to get his gun (pistol) out of the tent and take it on in the house. And then, the verbal beating and story concocting began......
Everything he said started with, You, You, You, You, You.... You are always to blame. "For some reason you don't like that gun in there. For some reason you are uncomfortable with that gun in there and I have no idea why. He then went on to hatefully argue all the good reasons why we needed a loaded gun close by when we sleep. Hateful and guns do not go together in my book. Biggest reason I was uncomfortable with it in there, he has grown more and more full of hate since the gun was put in there, and he often acts quickly before he thinks. So YES, I was uncomfortable with that big, loaded pistol in there.
He went on and on and on criticizing me for being nervous about having a loaded gun in the tent. Then ... he compared guns to the dogs!!! Like a little child he whined, "You have all of these dogs in here. (I had those dogs when I moved, and the yard they are in was built for them) Dogs are just like a loaded gun, only you can't control when their trigger might go off. Dogs go off and "shoot" whenever they want, you can't control that. At any moment, just because they want to, a dog can pull his own trigger. They stay loaded all the time. And you might not be able to stop them. A dog is MUCH more dangerous than a gun!
For crying out loud! The man that is obsessed with guns, knives and other types of weapons, is whining that he is scared of dogs! Not just my dogs, all dogs! He can't get that if you are nice to a dog, if you never provoke a dog, it isn't going to "shoot" you. It will be loyal to you. But this isn't what this is all really about.
What actually is happening (in my opinion) is that he is creating his scenario, his 'story' if you will. He knows that I don't want to be here anymore, he knows that I am trying to find a way to leave, and he may be building up to kick me out (I strongly suspect that will happen any day, now). Before any of that happens, he needs to have a "story" ready to tell people, a story that will make me look like the monster. I have noticed that for about the past week he has been working on concocting this story. He can't possibly look bad. He has to create something that will make me look bad and him the victim. I see now that he has done this with his past wives. The "story" he told about each one of them that left always left me with questions. The stories didn't quite make sense. They now make sense, and I can clearly see that they, too, were the victims. They nearly all left in anger and extreme spite. I can now read in between the lines of every story that he told about every one of them. Now I see that all these senseless things that he is saying to me, about me, my critters, my belongings, all the untrue and ridiculous things he has said to berate me and confuse me, are to create that "story" he will tell when I leave, the one where he is once again the victim, where he just keeps picking women that turn out to be all alike, a man user that is crazy and he has no idea why they went nuts and left with so much spite. He is running scared now, scared that he will look bad to his family and handful of friends because another one left, because he can't hold a relationship. He wants to make sure he makes me out to be the villain and destroys me if I leave, destroys me FOR leaving. That is how I see it. It makes all the senseless make sense.
Signed - Betty Sue
Thursday, December 22, 2016
Dinner Rage and Attempted Dog Abuse
Last night was just so wild, my hands are super cold, and the hurt one is cramping and making typing very difficult, so I resorted to a video for last night's events. TL Ogre was raging, screaming, criticizing, ranting, etc., so hard that he didn't even make sense. He made all kinds of accusations against me that were so far out that I didn't even know how to react, which made him rage even more because he said I was being too silent. He has TOTALLY lost it!
TL raged, criticized, name called, and more, all over a dinner he said I did not cook, when he stood there watching me working on it before he went in to take his nearly 2-hour leisurely soak in the tub. He also tried to make my old dog do without any heat in sub freezing weather. He can do what he wants to me and I will take a lot, but I WILL NOT allow dependent animals to suffer!
It was just too much to write, so here is the video, raw and uncut. Time just does not allow for that right now, sorry.
TL raged, criticized, name called, and more, all over a dinner he said I did not cook, when he stood there watching me working on it before he went in to take his nearly 2-hour leisurely soak in the tub. He also tried to make my old dog do without any heat in sub freezing weather. He can do what he wants to me and I will take a lot, but I WILL NOT allow dependent animals to suffer!
It was just too much to write, so here is the video, raw and uncut. Time just does not allow for that right now, sorry.
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