Update on Cooking

I previously posted about not being able to cook after dark, not even when it gets dark at 5pm. I don't think that went as he had planned. I don't know how he expected me to accomplish that, but then that is what he is doing, giving me impossible to reach chores, commands, etc, then goes off in a rage when I can't meet his demands.

Over about a week and a half, we ended up getting to eat one hot meal. All the rest were really cold left overs, or stuff out of a can, like ravioli. I had even begged one day to cook some hamburger patties. We had the meat thawed out, the fire was already going, but he just said, "Oh, well. Sorry, can't help ya." But after about a week and a half of cold meals, he came out one day and threw a big, screaming, raging fit because he was sick of cold meals! He screamed that if a fire was already burning (I had been cooking dog food on it), I needed to cook us something, too. He said that it  had to be something quick cook, but he needed something hot to eat! We have since gotten a few hot meals. Not every day, but a few.

He knows how much I like to cook, how much I am missing having a kitchen, and he is now zoning in on the cooking aspect to control me, to manipulate me, to break me down. One day he says one thing, the next day he says another and I am supposed to figure out that he changed his mind. It is all part of a controllers way to keep you upset, broken down, and ready to install their ways into your mind. They are miserable people and they want you to be miserable with them.

His manipulations and controlling ways have now centered heavily around cooking and food. I will try to write and/or talk about that as much as I can in the coming week. None of it makes sense, of course, other than to break down, confuse and control. I have also had to start hiding some foods because he keeps eating up my favorite things and I have no way to get to a store to purchase any more of anything. He now makes all the grocery buying choices. I can ask for something, but he has to approve it. Ugh! Not exactly my idea of a good way to lose weight. We do still have food, but variety is beginning to dwindle and some basic staples are running low. Time will tell.

Thanks for listening to my vent. Have a Happy & Blessed New Year!

Signed - Betty Sue

Fire Wood

As I said in the last post, T L Ogre was heading up in the woods, today, to cut firewood. For us? NO! His handicapped sister was almost out of wood again. This will be the third time this season that he has cut firewood for her. One time he cut up wood off of her property. The first time and this time, he is cutting up our wood to take to her. My elderly mom has been wanting a rick of wood to keep on hand for a possible power outage so she could still cook (she is total electric). She has been wanting this for nearly two years, but he has yet to cut her any. It could have even been a Christmas gift for her, but isn't happening. She does so much for us, but nope, no wood for her, just his sister on the next property over.

The first time he cut wood for his sister, I was out of cook wood. He did NOT bring me any good wood back. He did finally go gather up some cruddy fallen limbs for me to use, but not any good, quality wood. Today, I am out of cook wood again. I have a few small pieces, but not nearly enough to build a fire to cook anything on. I also need a fire to melt wax so I can get some candles made for light in the tent at night.

In a couple more days, we are supposed to have a really bad stretch of weather ... snow, extreme cold, possibly freezing rain. There isn't much time to gather up any cook wood nor make candles. We will see if he brings me back any wood, too. I really hope so.

Thanks for listening to my vent. I hope that you have a great night and your year ends well and the new one begins beautifully!

Signed - Betty Sue

Wordless Wednesday - Basher Stick

Girlfriend Beater

Wordless Wednesday
This is the top end off the the one he used. The actual one he used to bash my hand with all of his might, was attached to the bottom of this one, was fatter and a little longer. It got tossed into the fire, but the other end of it I managed to get a picture of before it went into the fire. This tree branch had been evenly broken up into these lengths to cook dinner on.

T L Ogre says - No more cooking after dark!

Yep, NEW RULE! Just one more of those things to try and control me and take me down. I will admit, I am the world's worst about trying to use up every minute of the daylight and getting dinner cooked late, but I have always been that way. I try and I try and I try, and sometimes I make it. But T. L. Ogre's way of handling it is just wrong!

In the midst of all of his 'sudden' raging and controlling, he has commanded me to "No more cooking after dark!" For crying out loud, it gets dark around 5pm, now! And he is dead serious. The verbal beating would be horrific if I even tried. So, needless to say, I haven't had a hot meal in days and days!

It is really cold right now. We are living in a tent and I am outside most of the day doing chores in the cold. I have a lot of health issues and a hot meal, even a hot sandwich at the end of the day would be wonderful! I can't believe that I now find myself dreaming longingly of a hot meal :(

We have some hamburger meat, bread and some chips. The iron skillet stays ready and I have had a campfire going the past few days so I could cook some dog food  (Simmered through the day in a large pot while I did chores. I would have been in even more trouble if I hadn't gotten that cooked so we could stretch out the dog food.). But I wasn't even allowed to take just a few minutes to toss a couple of meat patties into a skillet. It was after dark when chores were done and it was time to eat, so NO HOT DINNER! Just a cold sandwich or something out of a can.

It is a punishment, a control mechanism to break me down. He knows it will affect my health issues and he doesn't care. He is actually using that to break me down into submissiveness and obedience.

Signed - Betty Sue