A Dark Dinner for a Bully

January 16, 2017

I am having a hard time restraining from laughing at T L Ogre in the late evenings, right now. If it weren't so darned funny, it would be infuriating, but laughing is less stressful, for me anyway.

What is so stinking funny you want to know? Night, after night, after night, he has been cooking well after dark for the past week! Tonight it was getting really late when he finished cooking his dinner, which held up feeding two of the dogs, which held up my dinner.

So, why was he so extra late cooking his dinner tonight? He couldn't find the lid to the pot he was using to cook in! I had just walked into the kitchen of the old house to wash my little cooking pot and curiously saw him frantically searching through the "pile." He stopped, looked up and asked, "Have you seen the lid yet to that stainless steel pot?" Of course I had to ask which stainless steel pot because we have a lot of stainless steel pots. He sarcastically, and accusingly, clarified that it was the same pot that he couldn't find the lid to the other day. He absolutely insists that I must know where that lid is and I am just not telling him. Geez!!  That was his cooking pot from before we got together, I have never used it. I have seen it sitting on the floor at the base of "the pile" (a mountain of kitchen stuff, trash, and rodent nests in the center of his old kitchen that he works from) but I had never used it. He threw a pretty good fit over not finding the lid to the pot, repeatedly insinuating that I must be hiding it, then bitterly and angrily finished up with, "Well, if I don't have it, it will take a whole lot longer for this to cook! (I don't know what 'this' was.)

I tried to find a substitute lid, but he said none of them fit. I have a multi-size lid, setting out in plain site, but that wouldn't do, either. Yes, it would have. I haven't found a pot, yet, that it didn't work on.

"T L Ogre, why weren't you prepared? Why didn't you plan ahead better? Why didn't you have everything you needed all laid out and ready ahead of time? It's dark now, mister! You're going to be cooking past your bedtime! You might have to cut your nightly, long, hot bath a little  short so you don't lose sleep. Come on, now, can't you get your dinner done on time?!"

That's what I wanted to say to him, a throw of his own words back at him. I didn't dare, though. He would have instantly tossed me out in the road. He had already threatened to once, today, because, once again, I didn't answer his question exactly right, exactly the way he wanted it answered.  Bullying, he gets such a power trip off of it! 

Thanks for stopping in. Have a good day.

Signed - Betty Sue

Update on Cooking

I previously posted about not being able to cook after dark, not even when it gets dark at 5pm. I don't think that went as he had planned. I don't know how he expected me to accomplish that, but then that is what he is doing, giving me impossible to reach chores, commands, etc, then goes off in a rage when I can't meet his demands.

Over about a week and a half, we ended up getting to eat one hot meal. All the rest were really cold left overs, or stuff out of a can, like ravioli. I had even begged one day to cook some hamburger patties. We had the meat thawed out, the fire was already going, but he just said, "Oh, well. Sorry, can't help ya." But after about a week and a half of cold meals, he came out one day and threw a big, screaming, raging fit because he was sick of cold meals! He screamed that if a fire was already burning (I had been cooking dog food on it), I needed to cook us something, too. He said that it  had to be something quick cook, but he needed something hot to eat! We have since gotten a few hot meals. Not every day, but a few.

He knows how much I like to cook, how much I am missing having a kitchen, and he is now zoning in on the cooking aspect to control me, to manipulate me, to break me down. One day he says one thing, the next day he says another and I am supposed to figure out that he changed his mind. It is all part of a controllers way to keep you upset, broken down, and ready to install their ways into your mind. They are miserable people and they want you to be miserable with them.

His manipulations and controlling ways have now centered heavily around cooking and food. I will try to write and/or talk about that as much as I can in the coming week. None of it makes sense, of course, other than to break down, confuse and control. I have also had to start hiding some foods because he keeps eating up my favorite things and I have no way to get to a store to purchase any more of anything. He now makes all the grocery buying choices. I can ask for something, but he has to approve it. Ugh! Not exactly my idea of a good way to lose weight. We do still have food, but variety is beginning to dwindle and some basic staples are running low. Time will tell.

Thanks for listening to my vent. Have a Happy & Blessed New Year!

Signed - Betty Sue