Land Hunt Update

I thought I would take a moment to give an update on the land looking. I guess it is in the eye of the beholder as to how well it is or isn't going.  Finding the minimum of what I feel I need in a parcel of land, with my ultra meager funding, is a challenge in itself. Adding one unexpected hurdle right after another on top of that, makes it a frustrating challenge that the average person would just give up on. .... but I'm not average.

Important paperwork to the land is missing. When the realtor tries to track it down, he just gets referred to the next person, who then refers him to the next person, and so on, and so on, and so on. Someday I will explain exact details as to what exactly is missing, but for now, just know that it is something that I just won't close on without knowing.

In the search for that paperwork, another big hurdle, also with missing information, popped up. So that information now has to also be found. It would still probably be doable, it will just determine more of the property's worth/value and where and how I build on the land.

While all that was going on, the funds for the loan for the land disappeared in the mail! That was a scare, but it has finally been found and I am good to go with that, now. One hurdle down, a few more big ones to cross.

I just don't know, nor understand, why trying to get this (or any other property I have checked into) has become such a battle, such a time stall, but I just keep telling myself that there has to be a reason for it. I have to be patient and keep plugging forward. I won't deny it, I am having some serious frustration moments. I am having some  moments where it feels like I am going to be stuck like an hostage here forever.  Then someone comes along, like my youngest daughter, today, and gives me some beautiful words of support and I am able to focus again and keep on moving forward. It was strange, about an hour after she gave me some very encouraging words today, the missing funds were found! I did have to laugh once, when one of the statements she made were my own words that I used to say to everyone, thrown back at me, ha, ha, ha. Hit with my own words of advice. It worked!

Although I will follow and flow with where ever I feel I am being led, I really hope it is this piece of property that I am trying to purchase. I pray that all the hurdles get straightened out quickly and smoothly, I can close soon, and begin to move and rebuild my farm, to start life over anew, once again. Please help me pray, too, and keep me and my situation in your positive thoughts.

Thanks for stopping by and have a beautiful day.

Signed - Betty Sue

A Damper on the Possible Property

As I said yesterday, I have found the piece of property that is exactly what I need to move to and get out of here AND that I can also use to set up my business AND a place for other women in an abusive situation that needs to get out, but has no where to go where they can take and keep their multiple pets and belongings. I have just been waiting to hear back on a couple of questions I had on it (will get that today), and for a family member to go look at it in decent weather (weather has greatly hindered going to see it).

This property is it! I haven't gotten to go there specifically, but I have gotten to see many pictures of it and the area and talked with the realtor. No power or water for now, but it has everything else that I need and those items can be added as time and money allows. I don't have a way to leave or to get there. In fact, it has been over two weeks, now, since I have been able to get off of this property and that was with the Ogre.

A family member had told me that they would take out a loan for the property (asking price is $15,000) and make the payments temporarily until I get a check started. This was all set, no problem. Then this person started him-hawing that they didn't think the property was what I needed, I needed something more modern and had more stuff on it. I made it clear that it was exactly what I needed, just land, all else could be added later, I just have to get out of here (and he is pushing harder on that, now, kind of up and down - more on that in another post). So .... now this person says, "Well, I don't think I can make that payment after all. You will have to find something else, I think."  Ugh! I am sooo sick of CONTROL FREAKS!!!

To say I am frustrated and upset is an understatement! I have never felt so stuck and helpless. Dear God, please get me through this.

Thanks for stopping in and reading/listening. Have a beautiful day.

Signed - Betty Sue

Possible Land and Homing Puppies

Howdy, All!
I just wanted to let you know I am still here and okay. I am still on T L Ogre's property, and life is still tense, to say the least around here, but I am surviving it. It was a very busy end of the week and weekend, so that is why I wasn't on here, mostly. And over the weekend, no opportunity presented itself to get on here.

I posted my first litter of Boxer puppies on Facebook to be rehomed and the response was overwhelming! I spent most of the end of the week and the entire weekend trying to answer everyone. I think I had literally hundreds of comments and messages interested in them. I still have a few to answer (I don't want to leave anyone hanging), but I am very happy to say that the entire litter has been rehomed to very good homes! That makes me very happy! I try really hard to match the puppies' individual personalities to just the right home for them and the family they are going to, and I feel pretty confident that I did that. It always breaks my heart to see them go, especially when I get a favorite that I get super attached to, but there is just no way possible this time to keep even one. They will all be so much better off right now in a good family that can give them all of the puppy attention they deserve.

I have also found a great possibility on a 5 acre piece of land. Purchasing it won't be easy, but there may be a round about possible way. I truly wish I could go look at it myself, but at the moment, I have no way to get there and need to batten down a few more things here (if possible) before I could leave for several hours. I have a couple of relatives that are looking at it for me, and I finally got to personally talk to the realtor today with some questions. Waiting to hear back on one or two more questions I have for the owner, and for someone to walk the property a bit (it was raining too hard the other day when they went). If the answers are favorable, then it will be the one I want. It was really kind of good that we had so much rain the last few days, because this will greatly help to know what the land will look like after a few inches of rain. It wasn't good for my tent, we took on quite a bit of water the last two days in the floor, and discovered that the roof is beginning to leak a bit, but it will be worth it to see what it did to the property. The property is all flat, so if it were to flood in one place, the whole thing would. At least I did learn that it is NOT in a flood zone. Please keep this in your prayers and positive thoughts, that I have found my property and have a way to purchase it.

Thanks for stopping in! Have a good day.

Signed - Betty Sue

Update on Cooking

I previously posted about not being able to cook after dark, not even when it gets dark at 5pm. I don't think that went as he had planned. I don't know how he expected me to accomplish that, but then that is what he is doing, giving me impossible to reach chores, commands, etc, then goes off in a rage when I can't meet his demands.

Over about a week and a half, we ended up getting to eat one hot meal. All the rest were really cold left overs, or stuff out of a can, like ravioli. I had even begged one day to cook some hamburger patties. We had the meat thawed out, the fire was already going, but he just said, "Oh, well. Sorry, can't help ya." But after about a week and a half of cold meals, he came out one day and threw a big, screaming, raging fit because he was sick of cold meals! He screamed that if a fire was already burning (I had been cooking dog food on it), I needed to cook us something, too. He said that it  had to be something quick cook, but he needed something hot to eat! We have since gotten a few hot meals. Not every day, but a few.

He knows how much I like to cook, how much I am missing having a kitchen, and he is now zoning in on the cooking aspect to control me, to manipulate me, to break me down. One day he says one thing, the next day he says another and I am supposed to figure out that he changed his mind. It is all part of a controllers way to keep you upset, broken down, and ready to install their ways into your mind. They are miserable people and they want you to be miserable with them.

His manipulations and controlling ways have now centered heavily around cooking and food. I will try to write and/or talk about that as much as I can in the coming week. None of it makes sense, of course, other than to break down, confuse and control. I have also had to start hiding some foods because he keeps eating up my favorite things and I have no way to get to a store to purchase any more of anything. He now makes all the grocery buying choices. I can ask for something, but he has to approve it. Ugh! Not exactly my idea of a good way to lose weight. We do still have food, but variety is beginning to dwindle and some basic staples are running low. Time will tell.

Thanks for listening to my vent. Have a Happy & Blessed New Year!

Signed - Betty Sue

A Way to Help Me and Others

Besides helping myself get out of this nightmare of a situation, I also want to help others in similar situations as well. I want to turn this big negative into a positive! I want to create another option for women trying to escape their abusive situation, besides just grabbing their purse, so to speak, and running to a shelter.

I won't exactly say it is time for some change, but I will say it is time to quit accepting that as the only option and create another option. Women still will need a lot of help getting an income going, counseling, I am sure, and a few other things, but there needs to be another option besides just a shelter. I want to create that option!

Please take just a few minutes to listen to the video below. At this point it probably sounds like a lot of rambling, but I really think I have a good idea building. I would love to hear your ideas, suggestions, and input in the comments or in an email, which ever you are more comfortable with. In the video, I think I left out my thoughts on gardening for victims of domestic violence as well. A place to garden would be great not only to eat healthier and cheaper to help build ourselves back up, but it is also great therapy, as well. Living on a piece of land like that would be a great place to give opportunity to release a lot of pent up anger, frustrations, hurt, etc. I will add to this idea as time allows. Thanks!

Thanks for stopping in and Thanks for listening! Have a good day!

Signed - Betty Sue  

A Calmer Night, Another Person?

It has been a much calmer night. A bit strange, but calmer. I will take every calm moment I can get. No, things aren't any better, just different. Yet another "person" inside of my "Honey" surfaced tonight. He surfaced once a few months back and I had almost forgotten about 'him'. So, who is he?

This 'person' is very calm, mannerly, polite, laid back, and speaks with a strong southern accent and a very heavy drawl. His 'voice' is more nasal than "Honey's" or T L Ogre's and the tone is a bit different as well, not as deep as T L Ogre's, and not as high pitched as Honey's. He likes to just casually 'shoot the breeze' converse, like he was an acquaintance, but not quite a friend. It is very strange. He thanked me for dinner tonight, like he was someone that I had spur of the moment invited in for dinner. Kind of threw me.

A few months back was the first time I had seen this personality. We had gone in to town (a couple of towns over) to run errands and get supplies. As usual, we were coming home late at night. When we finally got out on the highway, we started to chit chat as we drove home. He talked as I described above and acted like we were casual acquaintances. He had NEVER done that before, not in that way. He acted like he barely knew me and I was just someone riding along with him as he drove home. Again, he was very relaxed, laid back, and had that strong southern accent and heavy drawl. I remember asking him if he was okay. He looked puzzled and said, "Yes, why?" This isn't, by far, a bad personality, but not someone I would have fallen in love with and joined into a relationship with, either. Again, this is totally mind boggling!

There may be yet a fourth person in there, but not just real sure yet, or if T L Ogre is just that broad. I will let you know more on this seldom, more calm personality as time goes on . . . . if I still have power and Internet by then, that is.  I keep finding myself wondering if all of these "personalities" know each other?.... know about each other? Do they like each other? Do they approve of each other? Do they like some better than others? Do they like one but hate another one? I guess I need to name this one, too.  I have never experienced this before.  Does anyone know anything about this?

Signed - Betty Sue