Busted Hand and Bulging Eyes

I said I would eventually give you more indepth details of the night my hand was busted, and here it is. I went with video on this one because it was just too long for my aching, tingly hand to type out. His rage that  night was some of the most extreme I have seen. He went from calm to extreme rage in a matter of seconds. It tells me that he has no problem with keeping me "in line" with physical abuse, now, even if it might permanently disable me. He gets more and more comfortable with each and every "attack" on me, be it physical, emotional, verbal, or on one of my critters. This is very concerning, as I can't (and don't want to) imagine what will be next.

Well over a month later, I am still having much issues with my hand. The numbness just won't subside. Today the ends of most of my fingers on that hand are numb and tingly, reaching most of the way up my arm to my shoulder. He has no remorse. He doesn't care. He still holds with, "You should have moved your hand." and "I figured you would have moved it." He cuts no slack on my list of chores. Actually, he helps me even less with the things he used to help me with and has increased what is expected of me. He is getting annoyed that my injured hand is slowing me down.

I truly hope the damage to it isn't permanent. It is my dominant hand. I need BOTH of my hands. This stinks!

Thanks for stopping in! Please keep me in your prayers and positive thoughts.

Signed - Betty Sue

Dinner Rage and Attempted Dog Abuse

Last night was just so wild, my hands are super cold, and the hurt one is cramping and making typing very difficult, so I resorted to a video for last night's events. TL Ogre was raging, screaming, criticizing, ranting, etc., so hard that he didn't even make sense. He made all  kinds of accusations against me that were so far out that I didn't even know how to react, which made him rage even more because he said I was being too silent. He has TOTALLY lost it!

TL raged, criticized, name called, and more, all over a dinner he said I did not cook, when he stood there watching me working on it before he went in to take his nearly 2-hour leisurely soak in the tub. He also tried to make my old dog do without any heat in sub freezing weather. He can do what he wants to me and I will take a lot, but I WILL NOT allow dependent animals to suffer!

It was just too much to write, so here is the video, raw and uncut. Time just does not allow for that right now, sorry.

What I need most from my readers.

[ I will be updating this page in a few days. My most current needs are prayers that my bid on a piece of property is accepted, and that I quickly find a super cheap pick-up that runs well. And of course, that the current 'lull', around here, holds out for a long while. ]  Thanks!

I know I am sounding pretty frazzled right now. I feel that way, too. I have never been in a situation quite like this before. I have been in similar ones, but not near like this.  I thought I was much smarter than that. I am totally embarrassed! One day that switch just "flipped" and my Honey was gone and T L Ogre was there ... there and escalating by the day. But I am smart enough to know that this can't go on any longer and I have to have help to get out.
(Update: At first, it seemed like that 'switch' just flipped, but as I reflect over the past 5+ years, I can now see that there were subtle warning signs, along with little, subtle abusive behaviors along the way that I either didn't catch, didn't notice, or just chalked up to he was having a bad day.)

I guess what I need most right now from my readers is advice. I need to know what my options are on any level/area there is, as to what I can do. How can I disable him? (not physically, but stop his rages for the time being). How can I get out of here? What is available to me?
Edit: I also need help looking for a piece of cheap land, unimproved is fine, but a water source would be great, too. It just needs to be cheap, and 5 acres or so would be great, but would look at smaller. I also have no way of going to look at property right now, but I have relatives and possibly a friend that can go look if anyone comes up with something. Then thoughts on how I will pay for it. I do have a couple of possible options.

I don't have research time. As I said, my chores are timed, closely watched, and I have to account for my time. I also can't do any of this on our main computer (this is an old one he doesn't know I have updated) or ads and articles will come up on the subject and he will know.

I can't easily talk through my Facebook page as he has managed to already get into that once. Last night he tried to watch over my shoulder as I typed in my password to Facebook. So please, if you are someone that knows me, DON'T talk to me about this issue on Facebook nor post it on your page or mine. And DON'T call our phone. The consequences could be catastrophic! Feel free to comment on here (no actual names, please) or message me (much better) at my email address that goes with this blog. And remember that I probably won't be on here on the weekends. He is home and keeping me in his sights and slave driving me most of that time.
bettysueok@gmail.com
update: I am able to talk some through Facebook messenger, but it is risky.

UPDATE - I am also in GREAT need of a mountain of  18 gallon Sterlite Storage totes!
and
Boxes for packing.
 

Signed -  Betty Sue

T L Ogre Bashed my Hand!

My time is ultra limited, today. T L Ogre is beyond out of control. He stops raging just long enough to catch his breath and collect himself (and think of his next raging subject), then his rage hits again. I never saw anything like it, except on TV.

He bashed my hand with a fire log in November. Yes, it was on purpose and during one of his heightened rages. He wasn't sorry, either, and refused to let me slow down with it in mind. Looks like it broke a bone in it and it still hurts nearly a month later, sometimes pretty badly. I am having great difficulties holding on to anything in that hand, some things I can't hold at all. My fingers in that hand are still tingly and numb, much more so after I have used it for a couple of hours. I have not been able to do any knitting, crocheting or sewing since so, consequently, no Christmas gifts are made, not even for my grand kids. This absolutely breaks my heart! 

Typing is very difficult and painful, too. What a nightmare! I will post more on what all was behind this soon, too. I will probably do most of it in a video, as it will probably be too much typing all at once for my hand. Stay tuned, though. Thank you for taking the time to read. I need to get off of here and get back to my chores, now.

signed - Betty Sue