I am getting anxious and excited this week. I am quickly approaching that set closing date at the end of this week. It is; however, looking like we could be going into the extension time grace period, though, and it may be a little longer. As long as I can get closed, soon, I am okay with that. I do still have a lot of prep work to do before I can start moving things. At last update with the realtor, everything was going along well. It is just taking awhile with the abstracting.
I dread the moving part. I still have no idea how I am going to get it all moved, both physically and financially. When I start to look around me at the mind boggling amount I have to move, and how much of it is heavy, it seems so overwhelming and impossible. But then I keep telling myself that it looked impossible (and pessimistic friends and family even firmly told me so) to get a piece of property instead of giving up everything and just running to a women's shelter, yet I was determined, I kept at it, and acquiring that piece of property is about to happen! Then there was the pick-up search. Again, family and friends insisted that it was impossible to find something to fill my specs for the price I set. It was a long, hard search, but again, I was determined and amazingly, it is now in the driveway.
I am trying to focus harder on the baby steps and not the whole picture, because the whole picture of getting moved is so overwhelming. I am still heart broken that I lost so much in the move a little over a year ago, that all of my belongings didn't get moved, then, and I wonder how I can expect it to all to get moved now, if it didn't all get moved then.... but I also now know that back then, unknown to me then, there was something working against me getting all of my stuff moved, something (someone) that I never dreamed would have done such a thing, someone I trusted, that turned out adamantly did NOT want me to move all of my stuff. Someday I will tell that story, but not right now. Right now I need to focus on this move and surviving the rages and stupid stunts until I do get it moved.
I am sooo looking forward to the starting over on my own part! I am looking forward to having a little freedom again and being able to do some things my way without getting punished for it. I am still sad that life the way I thought it was going to be here, a life that I had looked forward to, was just all talk on the Ogre's end and was never going to be a reality, that it was just all a con, that I fell for, to get me here.... that all those years I could have been doing all of that on my own are gone, but I have to stay focused on the positive, that I have gained a wealth of knowledge, stuff you just don't find in text books, and although most days I don't feel strong at all, I know that I have gained a lot of strength and even more determination through all of this.
So, please say a wish and a prayer that the closing on my new property happens very soon so that I can get over there to start clearing some of the land so I can start moving. Thank you!
Thanks for stopping in and have a beautiful and safe day....
Signed - Betty Sue
After all this time together, his raging, evil, twisted, latent monster surfaced and left me in total shock! Talking about it to anyone will only make my nightmare worse if he finds out, so I am venting here, anonymously. I have to have somewhere to let it out. I now know he is a narcissist, but what else? bipolar? schizoid? psychotic? schizophrenic? some other mental disorder? I hope someone can help me answer this and find a way to get me out of here!.
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