T L Ogre escalated at his worst, today! I only have a minute. He has banned me from using the computer at the house, and the Internet. He threatened to break my neck (came at me with his hands once and almost has ahold of my neck when I yelled that I would scream). He insisted that I needed my neck broken. A few minutes later he hugged (tightly) the gatepost and with hateful rage screamed that he was going to put a heavy chain on the gate to the dog pen/yard where I am 'living', lock it tightly, and watch me and the dogs slowly starve to death!
He TOTALLY lost it! He has been raging for about 3 days, again, and today's was the worst. The threats were numerous, all out of control and psychotic. He also threatened to kill all the dogs if they tried to protect me from him hurting me. Made it clear that if he decided to hurt me, I had to just take it if I wanted my dogs to live.
All signs point to him probably having killed the 5 week old baby goat that I am missing. He is INSANE!
I was able to sign a new contract with the property owner today, so I can take early possession of the property to start doing some clearing so I can move the trailer and stuff on it as soon as we close. I have to get moved, but I am terrified of leaving my stuff and babies long enough to move a load. He also threatened, today, to burn all of my belongings. I think I would literally see devil fire coming out of his hateful eyes today!
Sorry if there are typos. No time to proof read today.
Gotta go. Please pray for me and this situation, Love you all!
Signed - Betty Sue.
Showing posts with label TL Ogre. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TL Ogre. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Wednesday, February 8, 2017
T L Ogre Hates His Momma!
T L Ogre HATES his mother; not just a little bit, but with raging, extreme passionate hate. I didn't think too much about it in the beginning. Any time we were discussing our families, he would mention his mom from time to time. When he did, it was always in a negative way, but not really with any major anger.
In the beginning, he also often, said that I reminded him a lot of his mom. I never really thought much about it, in the beginning, because he usually said in it conjunction with her being an economizer or trying new small business venture ideas. Then, I took it to mean it was a good thing. I think that is how he wanted me to take it, too.
As the years have gone by, and our relationship has progressed, he has spoken more and more about his mom, always in a negative way. I have only heard him say something nice about her once in the 5+ years we have been together. He has also continued to say that I remind him so much of her. I finally started wondering, "If you disliked everything about your mom, then why did you chose a life partner that reminds you so much of your her?" I wanted to ask that question so many times, but I never could find just that right moment to ask.
Now, keep in mind that his mom has been deceased for quite a few years, now. She was gone long before he and I even got together. He will tell you, with great anger and hate that she died from a hospital mistake(s). He is still, to this day, bitterly angry that "they" screwed up and took his momma away from him, yet, in the next sentence, he will tell you about how no good she was.
T L Ogre says his Momma was crazy, clinically crazy. He has never given a mental diagnosis, just says she was crazy. Everything (in his eyes) that she ever did was wrong, mean, over protective, crazy, nuts, unfair, anything in the realm of bad. He now speaks of this with narrowed, glaring eyes, wrinkled forehead, clinched teeth, and deep, angry voice.
Over the past couple of years, especially the past year, he speaks of his mom more and more and more .... always in a bitterly, angry, hateful tone. EVERYTHING reminds him of her! We will be just standing there, talking about something small, just everyday chit chat, things like how fast the grass is greening up, the flowers popping up, need to head for the store, anything, and it will bring to mind a bad memory about his mom, sending him into a teeth clenched, bitterly angry, ranting rage. His rage against his mom might go on for just a few minutes, but often continues for up to an hour. He then appears to be upset and angry with her for the entire rest of the day.
He never lets anything go about her. He constantly brings up the same tiny little things that she did, over and over and over and over. He hangs on everything that she did that he didn't like, stupid, simple little every day kid things, many things that I didn't consider a bad thing at all, but basic mothering, and to this day he just won't let go of them, not even something as simple as cleaning off a little scrape. You can be doing something as simple as picking something out of the garden or cutting up vegetables and it will stir up a memory of her, sending him into a screaming, ranting rage, nostrils flaring, skin graying, breathing difficult . . . . total hate filled anger at his mom!
Nope, I don't think that my reminding him of his mom was a good thing at all!; yet, I do think that that is why he chose me as his next partner, because I DO remind him so much of his mom. I am her substitute. Hindsight... don't we wish we could have it as foresight?!
Thanks for stopping in and have a beautiful day!
Signed - Betty Sue
In the beginning, he also often, said that I reminded him a lot of his mom. I never really thought much about it, in the beginning, because he usually said in it conjunction with her being an economizer or trying new small business venture ideas. Then, I took it to mean it was a good thing. I think that is how he wanted me to take it, too.
As the years have gone by, and our relationship has progressed, he has spoken more and more about his mom, always in a negative way. I have only heard him say something nice about her once in the 5+ years we have been together. He has also continued to say that I remind him so much of her. I finally started wondering, "If you disliked everything about your mom, then why did you chose a life partner that reminds you so much of your her?" I wanted to ask that question so many times, but I never could find just that right moment to ask.
Now, keep in mind that his mom has been deceased for quite a few years, now. She was gone long before he and I even got together. He will tell you, with great anger and hate that she died from a hospital mistake(s). He is still, to this day, bitterly angry that "they" screwed up and took his momma away from him, yet, in the next sentence, he will tell you about how no good she was.
T L Ogre says his Momma was crazy, clinically crazy. He has never given a mental diagnosis, just says she was crazy. Everything (in his eyes) that she ever did was wrong, mean, over protective, crazy, nuts, unfair, anything in the realm of bad. He now speaks of this with narrowed, glaring eyes, wrinkled forehead, clinched teeth, and deep, angry voice.
Over the past couple of years, especially the past year, he speaks of his mom more and more and more .... always in a bitterly, angry, hateful tone. EVERYTHING reminds him of her! We will be just standing there, talking about something small, just everyday chit chat, things like how fast the grass is greening up, the flowers popping up, need to head for the store, anything, and it will bring to mind a bad memory about his mom, sending him into a teeth clenched, bitterly angry, ranting rage. His rage against his mom might go on for just a few minutes, but often continues for up to an hour. He then appears to be upset and angry with her for the entire rest of the day.
He never lets anything go about her. He constantly brings up the same tiny little things that she did, over and over and over and over. He hangs on everything that she did that he didn't like, stupid, simple little every day kid things, many things that I didn't consider a bad thing at all, but basic mothering, and to this day he just won't let go of them, not even something as simple as cleaning off a little scrape. You can be doing something as simple as picking something out of the garden or cutting up vegetables and it will stir up a memory of her, sending him into a screaming, ranting rage, nostrils flaring, skin graying, breathing difficult . . . . total hate filled anger at his mom!
Nope, I don't think that my reminding him of his mom was a good thing at all!; yet, I do think that that is why he chose me as his next partner, because I DO remind him so much of his mom. I am her substitute. Hindsight... don't we wish we could have it as foresight?!
Thanks for stopping in and have a beautiful day!
Signed - Betty Sue
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Food Stamp Saga - Part 6
When we got to the food stamp office (DHS), he tried to get me to go in first and sign up. I was puzzled. "Don't I need to be off of your card first?" He mumbled some senseless bs, then said, "Either way, maybe so." I also asked, "Isn't there a waiting room or something inside? I mean, I don't see why either of us needs to sit out here in the cold to wait our turn." He stuttered, then said there was a waiting area where you take a number, then it is called when it is your turn. It may take several hours or not even get your turn until the next day. I unbuckled, got out, said, "We are here, I'll take my chances. You take me off first, then I will apply." He had an odd look on his face, but went on in. Of course he had to open the door for me, to look good for them. All throughout our relationship, he seldom opened a door for me, now and then on occasion, but seldom.
We took our numbers from the front window, him first. Although there were a few people in the waiting room, there was only one person ahead of us. After just a few minutes, the receptionist called his number. He had me taken off of his card in no time. He bounced out of that office with a childish grin on his face and a victorious spring in his step, seemingly very pleased he had his own food stamps all to himself! He was also determined that he was going to wait out in the cold truck while I went in for my turn, rather than in the warm waiting room. It was pretty cold that day.
So why do I think he was so determined to have me go in first while he waited out in the cold truck, and that he waited outside when I finally did go in? My answer to that is simply my deductive reasoning, my thoughts, opinions and conclusion. At first I was totally confused and puzzled. Now, after an incident with the phone (I know. I still haven't gotten to that post quite, yet), I realize he was probably waiting out in the truck so he could dial in to my phone to hear what all I might be saying to the DHS worker. Both of our phones do work in that town. (Many of the newer phones come with an app where you can call into another phone and listen to everything going on in the room through the speaker. If a phone doesn't have it, an app can be easily acquired and installed. His nephew's cell phone does have this app (It came with his phone) and he has told me a few times, in the past, about it. To make them legal, this app is sold under the pretense that it is for parents to use to keep up with their children, but it gets used for countless other uses.)
By me going in first, if he used such an app, he could hear all I was saying to the worker, then counter it in conversation when he went in. That is how the mind of a narcissist works, always having to make sure they aren't the one that looks bad. They will go to whatever extreme they have to to accomplish this. When I didn't go in first, I think he still raced back out to the truck to get on his phone to listen to what he could, to keep fully informed for future use against me. Am I being paranoid? NO .... it is a huge possibility and I am just watching my own back as closely as possible. I have to protect me. If he does hear anything that would anger him, that he would take as something that was said against him, he could/would go into a violent rage again, and I want to prevent as much of that as I possibly can.
Part 7 of the Food Stamp Saga coming soon, where I discuss my turn in the food stamp office.
Thanks for stopping in and ;have a good day.
Signed - Betty Sue
We took our numbers from the front window, him first. Although there were a few people in the waiting room, there was only one person ahead of us. After just a few minutes, the receptionist called his number. He had me taken off of his card in no time. He bounced out of that office with a childish grin on his face and a victorious spring in his step, seemingly very pleased he had his own food stamps all to himself! He was also determined that he was going to wait out in the cold truck while I went in for my turn, rather than in the warm waiting room. It was pretty cold that day.
So why do I think he was so determined to have me go in first while he waited out in the cold truck, and that he waited outside when I finally did go in? My answer to that is simply my deductive reasoning, my thoughts, opinions and conclusion. At first I was totally confused and puzzled. Now, after an incident with the phone (I know. I still haven't gotten to that post quite, yet), I realize he was probably waiting out in the truck so he could dial in to my phone to hear what all I might be saying to the DHS worker. Both of our phones do work in that town. (Many of the newer phones come with an app where you can call into another phone and listen to everything going on in the room through the speaker. If a phone doesn't have it, an app can be easily acquired and installed. His nephew's cell phone does have this app (It came with his phone) and he has told me a few times, in the past, about it. To make them legal, this app is sold under the pretense that it is for parents to use to keep up with their children, but it gets used for countless other uses.)
By me going in first, if he used such an app, he could hear all I was saying to the worker, then counter it in conversation when he went in. That is how the mind of a narcissist works, always having to make sure they aren't the one that looks bad. They will go to whatever extreme they have to to accomplish this. When I didn't go in first, I think he still raced back out to the truck to get on his phone to listen to what he could, to keep fully informed for future use against me. Am I being paranoid? NO .... it is a huge possibility and I am just watching my own back as closely as possible. I have to protect me. If he does hear anything that would anger him, that he would take as something that was said against him, he could/would go into a violent rage again, and I want to prevent as much of that as I possibly can.
Part 7 of the Food Stamp Saga coming soon, where I discuss my turn in the food stamp office.
Thanks for stopping in and ;have a good day.
Signed - Betty Sue
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